There Are Times
by Eclipse of Thunder
Summary: Kakashi wonders back to the day he and Sasuke started seeing each other, about the secret he keeps from the Naruto, Sakura, and the village. He is in love with Sasuke, and would leave the village for him, but how does Sasuke really feel about him?


Author's Notes: Maybe this is a little boring? It was... kinda depressing a bit, even to write. It skips around a bit, but that is kinda the point. Let me know what you think of this one-shot!

There are times when he has in his hands what Sakura and Naruto have been fighting so hard for. There are times when Sasuke seeks a home and finds it in Kakashi's warm arms which never turn him away. There are times when Naruto and Sakura go to visit, but end up leaving so Kakashi can be alone with his mysterious lover. There are times when Sasuke almost stays the next day.

"Mmm... Sasuke are you leaving so soon again? Would it hurt to stay one more day?" Warm obsidian eyes turn to their former sensei and there is sorrow in them. "No, I cannot." A sigh sounded from the older males lips and he gaze was removed from his young lover. He didn't understand why Sasuke always came back to him, but he always did. It was the day that he didn't come back was what he feared. When he turned back to the door, Sasuke was already gone. Raising from his bed, Kakashi exposed his naked body to the room and didn't bother getting dressed or even putting his mask on as he made his way to the fridge and rummaged for something to eat.

A couple hours later he found himself being pestered about how the mission of finding Sasuke was going. Of course they both had finally been removed from them, but only agreed on the terms that Kakashi would continue them. That's how he had gotten into the emotional mess he was in now. He would have to thank Naruto and Sakura for that one later. Afterall, he had promised himself to never get attached to someone again after his team was lost. He sighed for what seemed the hundreth time that day. "I haven't seeen him yet, but I am close... I know it." They seemed satisfied with his answer and left.

Kakashi stood in front of a certain, well taken care of grave. 'KIA' He traced the names with his eyes. If Sasuke died... his name wouldn't go here, he would just be... forgotten within time. The thought left a hollowness within Kakashi and he wished that maybe he had the courage to leave with Sasuke one day, finding nothing left for himself here. He sat down in front of his friends and sensei and relayed his tratiorous actions to them.

It had been about the thirtenth mission he had been on searching for Sasuke. His team was significantly smaller than they normally were, it was only himself and two ANBU. There had been a sighting of Itachi near Sunagakure and wherever Itachi was... Sasuke wasn't too far behind. Kakashi jumped from tree to tree skillfully, only a couple behind the two members. His gut clenched tightly however, and he stopped right before seeing his two team members drop to the ground. Kakashi's eyes looked around dangerously, he just hoped that it wasn't Itachi that they had run into.

He heard the sound of feet coming in contact with wood from behind him. Whipping around he was met with Sasuke's face. He was only a couple of trees away, and he had become so beautiful. He would of enjoyed the silence if Sasuke had not of broken it. "I see that Naruto and Sakura sent you in their place, it was only a matter of time before they were taken off the mission. I am surprized they allowed you to continue searching for me though." Kakashi almost didn't answer. "Hn." Sasuke narrowed his eyes at his former sensei. "Well... that's a nice change from their constant banter of come back. Though I find myself wanting to hear your voice."

That was the first time they had made love, and the sound of Sasuke's voice still left him trembling. Kakashi looked up at the stone, wondering if his comrades could actually hear him... and what they would think of him if they were still alive. Getting up from his spot from the ground he made his way to his house, he really just felt like spending the day laying in his bed, breathing his scent in. Tomorrow he had another mission to 'Bring Sasuke Back.' He was now the only one on the search team, everyone else had been pulled for more important missions.

The situation he was in would make it increadibly easy for him to disappear, but he was too uncertain to leave its safety.

Kakashi left early the next morning. For the first time in a long time... Sasuke was by Sunagakure, but he had heard nothing about Itachi. Kakashi vaguely wondered if Sasuke was waiting for him and it made his heart ache with want. He arrived shortly, it only taking him a couple of hours to make it. He knew exactly where his young lover would be. The tree he stood on now was the tree that Sasuke had stood on the year before. Sasuke's eyes looked straight through him, and he looked like he was either going to collapse in exhaust or tears.

Kakashi caught his love in his arms before he fell from the tree, he landed them on the ground. He held Sasuke in his arms as the younger male let silent tears slip from his closed eyes. His body was covered in cuts and bruises and he was slightly shaking from all the chakra loss. Kakashi craddled him in his own warmth as he heart slowly broke at the state of the man he loved. "He... He is dead Kakashi... I killed him... Why... Why didn't he tell me sooner... I am... I am such a fool!" The only thing Kakashi could understand through the mess of words spilling from Sasuke's lips was that he killed someone, Itachi most likely. But... he regretted it? Kakashi wondered what Sasuke meant.

"Shh... Sasuke... tell me what happened."

Indeed Sasuke had killed Itachi and with his dying breath Itachi had told his loved little brother the truth about that day. Kakashi knew now... that Sasuke would never return, this was his goodbye to Kakashi. Kakashi felt his heart ache and the tears beginning to sting his own eyes. "Kakashi, hold me." And he would, he would never deny Sasuke. And that night after they passionatly made love, he asked. "Sasuke, why do you always leave me right after?" He hadn't been expecting a reply of any kind, it was just better to get the question off his mind.

"Because... if I had stayed a minute longer at any time, I never would have left." That was all that Kakashi needed, he now had his reason to leave that village behind. Placing a delicate kiss on his young lover's lips, he didn't need anything more than this.


End file.
